In these days of overscheduling, dual careers, and overstimulation, finding “quality time” with you family often seems next to impossible. How can you possibly plan a trip together when even having one meal a week as a family is like finding that Leprechaun's pot of gold? Add to that fears for safety in light of terrorist attacks and the political climate, plus budgetary concerns, and going on vacation may go from your “back burner” to all the way off the stove.

Before you ditch the idea of a family trip, take a few minutes to recall the best vacation you ever had, whether as a child or an adult, and let's look at some ways to assuage your concerns about safety, security, and finances while offering ways to really connect with those most precious people in your life-your family.

In their book, Putting Family First, (http://www.PuttingFamilyFirst.org) William J. Doherty, Ph.D., and Barbara Z. Carlson state that a recent University of Michigan survey shows that time just for talking between parents and children has “dropped nearly off the radar screen,” and that family vacations have taken a 28 percent decline in the past two decades. Add to that the fact that children have lost 12 hours per week in free time, which includes a 25 percent drop in play time and 50 percent decrease in unstructured outdoor activities, and we can begin to see that we working parents aren't the only ones who need a break from the everyday grind.

So let's think for a moment about safety-the everyday, “safe travel tips” variety, and the “terrorism in today's political environment” kind. Traveling together as a family is a good way to teach your children the basics, like not giving too much personal information to strangers, wearing seatbelts, checking your tires, oil and fuel gauges before embarking on a long drive, and keeping an inventory list of the contents of your luggage in a separate place. Depending on the age(s) of your child(ren), you might want to have them make their own safety checklists first, and then compare notes to fill in what they might have missed.

As for terrorism, many American families are choosing destinations that are closer to home, and therefore accessible via automobile, over air travel. One advantage to consumers of this trend is the terrific low airfares being offered by struggling airlines. However, according to the Travel Industry Association of America, since the 9/11 tragedy, leisure travel is up 3 percent in 2001 and another 2 percent in the first half of 2002. TIAA confirms that Americans are simply getting back to basics and are changing travel patterns, like spending more time on domestic travel (even local day trips) and less time overseas.

Brenda Elwell, author of The Single Parent Travel Handbook, ((800)431-1571) has traveled the globe as a single mom with her two children, Gregory, who is now in college, and Monique. In addition to her consulting business, Monique acts as Webmaster and and Business Manager for Elwell's Web site, www.SingleParentTravel.net. Brenda's article on safety concerns while traveling as a single parent family can be found at http://www.singleparenttravel.net/Writing/Safety.htm. Elwell says when it comes to concerns about terrorism and security, “To get the facts, not the media hype, and develop an informed opinion, go to the government Web sites. Start with the U.S., then try a few other English speaking government Web sites. You will find the U.S. tends to be the most cautious in its assessments.”

So now that we've covered the serious side of things, let's look at the most important part: having FUN! Here are some tips shared by Elwell and other parents who enjoy traveling together as a family:

1) Elwell keeps a “Sunday Outing” file, rotating destinations seasonally. “We always did something special on Sundays, whether it was a local spot or someplace further away. But since I was a single parent, my kids learned early on that they had to help in other ways so we'd have time for these adventures-like putting away groceries, helping with the laundry, etc.

2) On a similar note, to have a successful family vacation, no matter how many adults and children are in the family, requires planning ahead. Elwell points out that to have a successful single parent vacation, you'll need even more participation on the part of the kids, so the parent isn't worn out. (Or consider traveling with another single parent family, so you'll have more support, and hopefully, more fun!

3) Involve your kids in whatever planning is appropriate for their age. Very young children can at least help you put things in their bags, such as swimsuits and sunscreen, while you talk about how warm it will be at your destination. Older kids can do research on your destination and pick an attraction that goes on you “can't miss” list of things to do. Depending on their age and development, a simpler tourist map of your destination or a detailed road map can help your kids work with you to determine the route you'll take.

Cyndi Bakke of Glenview is the mother of four children, Aristotle, 7, Torin, 5, Eowyn, 3, and Rowena, 1. Cyndi's husband Brett is a trial attorney, sometimes working for weeks or months at a time in another city. The Bakkes have turned their family vacations into “Homeschooling on the Road,” learning all they can about the US while traveling. Cyndi takes the four children in the car, and Brett flies to meet them from wherever he happens to be working. In many ways, Cyndi's planning and preparation for their amazing adventures is done single parent-style.

“Our last trip was in the summer of 2002,” says Cyndi. “We wanted to visit Brett's grandparents who live in Seattle. To make the car trip tolerable and even exciting we make lots of stops. We drive 4-6 hours each day, stopping at convenient places in between, that we have planned out in advance. Sometimes the stops are big exciting attractions like Mt. Rushmore, and sometimes the stops are small children's museums in obscure cities.”

The Bakkes take what experience they've gained from raising four children and apply it to road trips, which makes for more delight and less, “Are we there yet?” “With four children we have to balance all of their various interests in our itinerary,” Cyndi continues. “We try to set up the minivan to be a kind of activity center with puzzles and books and even a keyboard for the kids to practice piano while we are traveling. Our two sons play violin, and so one of the things we do is practice violin at various rest stops. It can be a very beautiful experience to hear a child's concert in the middle of the mountains or beside a flowing stream in the woods.”

Another tip from the Bakkes: “We take a different route home on these long trips, as it gives us the opportunity to explore different places.” This makes especially good sense when taking a very long drive; going a north (or east) route one way and returning the southerly (or western) route returning gives you different scenery, fun stops along the way, and even different mileage and license plates for those never-fail road games!

Laura and Jay Newman, expatriates who now live in Asia, bring sons Martin, 6, and Nicholas, 2, back to the U.S. regularly. Their favorite family vacations involve hiking-although Laura says, “Now that Nicholas is getting too heavy [for the baby backpack], we will take short hikes to include Nicholas; then Jay will take longer hikes on another day with Martin. We find that hiking is a great time for talking and there are no distractions.”

Another tip from the Newmans, which Laura says might be considered counter-intuitive: “We find that the family bonds best if Jay and I also manage to get parent time to ourselves. This summer we are staying at the YMCA camp of the Rockies and the kids will both be going to day camp part time, so we as parents will have some down time, too.”

Brenda Elwell points out an advantage of parents listening to their children interact: “You learn a lot by listening to your children interacting with one another. One time, years ago, Greg, Monique and I were hiking in Sedona, Arizona. I listened to my son quizzing his sister on all kinds of big issues, like drug use. I was amazed to learn what kinds of things were on his mind-and how she answered him. I was so proud of both of them!”

If your children are old enough, read chapter books on road trips, allowing each member of the family to read a chapter. Choose books that contain stories about your destination(s).

Have your children pack “Fun Bags” for one another, choosing “doing” items like games, crayons or colored pencils, etc., and small treats they rarely get at home. Encourage the kids to surprise one another (if they can keep secrets!) or put in a couple of surprises of your own when they're not looking!

Young children who are old enough can be responsible for counting pieces of luggage at every stop along the way. Brenda Elwell says her son did this from the time he was 5 years old. Greg became so responsible for their luggage, later he could be counted on to climb on top of a bus before a trip down the Amazon-assisting the locals by tying down the luggage and making new friends along the way!

Have older children help you prepare an itinerary, recommends Elwell. Have the kids do their own research at whatever level is appropriate for them, listen to their input, and then type it and give every family member a copy. (Your older kids can draw simple pictures on it for youngsters who don't read yet.) Sit down as a family to discuss giving up one thing to do something else that's important to another family member. Do all of this before you leave, so you have one less irritant while you're on the trip. “Certainly your itinerary can be changeable--leave it flexible for discoveries along the way--but having it set ahead of time leaves room for less arguing during the trip,” states Elwell.

Older kids who can read a map make great navigators-says Elwell, “If you're letting your son or daughter navigate, you've got to give up some control. You'll make wrong turns, and get to destination a lot later than you'd planned, but it's all part of the journey!”

Children of EVERY AGE need to know the name of the hotel/motel where you're staying. Elwell suggests tearing the cover off a matchbook from the hotel, showing it to your child and then securing it in a pocket or backpack. This tip also holds true for your cell phone number, if you carry one that is accessible outside your local home area.

You can find other tips for keeping kids amused on long car trips at http://www.singleparenttravel.net/Newsletter/March01.htm" http://www.singleparenttravel.net/Newsletter/March01.htm.